Don't Sell Meth to a Crackhead

What I mean to say is there is no similarity between a Pumpkin Latte and a regular latte.  Yeah, I said it!  I'm a grown ass man having a tantrum about not getting my Pumpkin Latte.  It's funny, normally I would never drink such a thing, yet here I am writing bout not having one.  These are strange days we live in.  Maybe the Mayans were right, because the younger me would kick my ass, "Pumpkin Latte".  I'm not going to  plug the manufacturer of said, exquisitely-delicious-crack&butter filled cup of ecstasy.  No, I will let you assume you know which one it is and allow you to chastise me for it.

The girl was a sweetheart, she laughed and snorted when I told her not to sling meth to a crackhead.  Her manager didn't find the fact that they were out of product very amusing and I get it.  As soon as they announced they were out of Pumpkin-crack, at least 5 people hopped line.  That got me to thinking?  What if I brewed my own pumpkin-crack and sold it to people?  The sheer volume of people that drink a Pumpkin Latte is staggering. 

Here is an establishment, we will call it school-house drug dealer.  You know, the guy at the end of the block that gives you stuff for free to get you hooked.  Just like in those after-school specials, "pssssst, hey kid,     ca-mere I got something your gonna love".  They are right, I love my Pumpkin-Crack, it's just a shame that it is going to be taken away soon. Just like the pusher-man on the corner. "Thing is though kid, I only have enough for you to try it and like it, then I'm taking it away"!  That's just not right!

It's a shame that Pumpkin-crack is so addicting.  If it weren't, I suppose it wouldn't be such a big seller.  Maybe it's the butter?  Maybe it's the MSG?  I have no idea what is put into the magical cups of goodness, but I do know they are awesome and I need to go find a purveyor of Crack&Butter filled ecstasy.  Maybe I'll set up a lemonade stand, cross out (Lemonade) and scribble in with a crayonPumpkin Ecstasy?  That way instead of being a consumer, I can become a distributor.  Just like the guy in the after school movie, except I carry carafe's instead of baggies.